Young Children in Church

Dear Parents with Young Children in Church,

We as parents are doing something really, really important. I know it’s not easy. I know whenever traveling anywhere, even with a helper/nanny, our arms are often overflowing with the children’s diaper or snack bag, blanket, burp cloth, while juggling the infant car seat as we find our own seat with perhaps a soiled and eating every few hours “hungrier baby”. So, I know how it feels to come to church already tired. Even with that nice church outfit, lipstick and smile, were probably up all night trying to settle our oh so cute, but overwhelming and demanding little one(s). Parenting is tiring. Really tiring.

I know how it feels as we bounce and sway during worship service trying to keep our baby(s) quiet, praying that they’ll sleep through most of the sermon, so you can hear that ever so needed to hear message. I know how it feels to wince as our child cries. I know how it feels to anxiously pull things out of our bag of tricks to try to quiet them (tadaaah)! 😊.

And I know how it feels with our toddlers and preschoolers as they refuse to go to Sunday school. I know how it feels to cringe when our little boy or girl asks an innocent question in a voice that might be almost as loud as the pastors voice let alone a church whisper. I know how it feels to have an exasperation in our voices as we beg our child to just sit, be quiet for a few more minutes as we feel everyone’s eyes on you. Not everyone is looking, but I know it feels that way.

I know how it feels to wonder, is this really worth it? Why do I bother? I know how it feels to often leave church more exhausted, empty than fulfilled. But what we are doing is so important.
When we are here, the church is filled with a joyful noise. When we are here, the Body of Christ is more fully present. When we are here, we are reminded that this worship thing we do isn’t about Bible Study or personal, quiet contemplation but coming together to worship as a community where all are welcome, where we share in the Word and Sacrament together. When we are here, I have hope that these pews, alters and foyers won’t be empty in five to ten years when our kids are old enough to sit quietly and behave in worship. I know that they are learning how and why we worship now, before it’s too late. They are learning that worship is important.

I see them learning. In the midst of the cries, whines, and giggles, in the midst of the crinkling of Nik-Nak bags and the growing pile of crumbs for that home baked scone or muffins, I see a little girl who insists on crawling or waddling (with that full diaper) up to the pews to share her presence with everyone. I hear a little boy crunching and slurping (quite loudly) every crumb and last drop of his communion wine determined not to miss a piece and drop of Jesus. I watch a child rolling on the floor in front of the sanctuary. I know the children who make the echoes of “Amen!” just a few seconds after the rest of the congregation says it together. I watch as my five, soon to be six-year-old boy just learning to read try to sound out the words in the children’s bible we brought to keep him occupied or count his way to Revelations 22. Even on days when I don’t think my own children are learning because, well, it’s one of those “I’m so that mummy” mornings, I believe that our children are learning by the Holy Spirit.

I know how hard it is to do what we’re doing, but I want you to know, it matters. It matters to me. It matters to my children to not be alone in the pew, foyers or alter steps. It matters to the congregation to know that families care about faith, to see young people… and even on those weeks when you can’t see the little moments of spiritual growth, it matters to your children.

It matters that they learn that worship is what we do as a community of faith, that everyone is welcome, that their worship matters. When we teach children that their worship matters (Matthew 21:16), we teach them that they are enough right here and right now as members of the church community. They don’t need to wait until they can believe, pray or worship a certain way to be welcome here, and I know adults who are still looking to be shown that. It matters that children learn that they are an integral part of this church, that their prayers, their songs, and even their badly (or perfectly timed depending on who you ask) cries and whines are a joyful noise because it means they are present.

I know it’s hard, but I’d like to thank you all for what you do when you bring your children to church. Please know that your family - with all of its noise, struggle, commotion, and joy – are not simply tolerated, you are a vital part of the community gathered in worship.